What's New in Blue?

Mom...I'm Bored!

2011-11-27T16:13:00.000-05:00

Remember how lazy we were as children? We'd have the most adventurous day and then tell our parents we were completely bored. This poem came to me in a dream last night and holds memories of my childhood. I wanted to be free to run wild, take my bike and just ride away. Little did I know how unsafe that would have been for a seven year old. I was blessed to have a sibling close to me in age. My sister Cindy and I spent a lot of time together and shared a room for many, many years. At times it seemed we were more like enemies but there were moments when our sisterly bond overshadowed anything negative we were feeling. Enjoy this poem:

(Me and my memories from living in Augusta, GA from 1976-1977)

"Stuck"
by Carey Germana
Copr. 11/27/11

We were 2 little girls
at a quarter to three
we had the Summer to waste
in our little bare feet
we folded our shirts up
to carry our strawberries home.

Sitting in the shade
of the old maple tree
sipping from the end
of the garden hose, we
counted our lady bugs
before we let them all go.

Hey there daddy
tell me when my brother gets home
hey there daddy
tell me when he's home
'cuz he borrowed my bike
and road up to the store
and I can't go anywhere
until he gets home

We flew our kites
at the end of the street
and walked through the graveyard
(my sister and me)
a wide open field that was riddled
with markers of stone.

She laid her white paper
over words that she liked
and rubbed with her pencil
the impressions were light
but the voices of saints and of sinners
said we weren't alone.

hey there daddy
tell me when my brother gets home
hey there daddy
tell me when he's home
'cuz he borrowed my bike
and road up to the store
and I can't go anywhere
until he gets home

We liked the nice family
across from our house
I got my first kiss
with a peck on the mouth
but sister would taunt me with
rhymes about sitting in tree's.

We started fighting
about the smallest of things
but dancing to records
at night made it seem
that our lives were somehow
connected beyond what we see.

hey there daddy
tell me when my brother gets home
hey there daddy
tell me when he's home
'cuz he borrowed my bike
and road up to the store
and I can't go anywhere
until he gets home

Siren of the Sea

2011-08-14T23:51:00.000-04:00

This is a drawing my daughter Brandi did freehand and then scanned and colorized with a paint program she just started using.

Growing Up!

2011-08-05T14:32:00.001-04:00

Brandi, my 15-year old, had the opportunity to leave home for a few weeks this summer and venture out on her own. She went to stay with some of my dear friends on the East Coast. "She's not allowed to grow up!" was all I could think while I pondered her travel arrangements. "She can't go and experience things without me!" was the more pressing thought on my mind. Random questions began to swirl in my head...


Brandi got the window seat.

Q: Where did my little girl go with the hair pulled up on top of her head?

Q: When did the "how mommy" and "why mommy" questions stop?

Q: Who needs a mother's advice when you have the internet?

Q: How do you tell her to turn the music down when the ear-buds deliver her sounds in secret?

Q: What is she listening to these days?

I had to log on to her i-tunes account to check out her play-list. "Wow, she's very eclectic!" I mused after finding chamber music, classical music and other sophisticated choices. The East Coast is sophisticated and I knew she'd love visiting there based on her current interests and passions.

So she packed her bags, visited a European salon for a stylish new hairdo, and selected some gifts to give my friend's children. My high-school friend of over 20 years (who is now a mother of 2) offered to fly out to get Brandi and fly her back to where we used to live when we were in high school together.

Brandi's view from the window

Back in 1989, my father uprooted us from our rural home in Alma, Arkansas and moved us to a bustling suburb near Washington D.C. following his job promotion. It was there (Fairfax, VA) that I started a new school and became the 1st chair bassoon player for the school orchestra. The gal that originally sat 1st chair got bumped to the 2nd chair after my tryouts were over. I thought she'd hate me but we became the best of friends. Over the years, we grew to be more like sisters.

My friend works for Delta Airlines and has the opportunity to send her friends buddy passes to fly on standby for little or no cost. She lives in the Raleigh, NC area now and enjoys flying back and forth to visit my family every year. We've always talked about my kids visiting her when they were old enough to go without me. I just didn't expect the moment to come so quickly! My friend's mother still lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. and we thought it'd be cool for Brandi to experience the 4th of July there.

Lake behind my friend's house

Brandi's visit started with a few nights in my friend's childhood home. Her mom owns a town-home that sits on a little lake. I have a lot of great memories from living there between 1989-1992.

Path around the lake (Burke, VA)

Back then, my friend was dating a really nice guy and I always felt like the 3rd wheel on most of their dates. Knowing I was feeling a little lonely, she introduced me to a neighbor boy that lived around the corner from her. I was attracted to Italians and he was just so handsome and played the guitar for me. He became my boyfriend and we were married in 1992. Brandi was a baby when we were divorced in 1996. She didn't grow up with him in her life. Since he was her birth-father, I thought she'd enjoy knowing how we met and dated. The lake behind his house was a great place to stroll, carve our names on a tree and have our first kisses.

Back of my friend's house (Burke, VA)

When Brandi visited my friends, she walked around the lake and called me on her cell phone. I told her about falling in love with her birth-father. It was really special to share good memories because divorce often crowds out memories of good times. I told Brandi that those grounds are her roots and she was born into a loving relationship.

Brandi, Age 3 (1998)

Carey's House (1988-1992)

In the true spirit of friendship, my friend drove Brandi to see the house I lived in when I was in high school. They emailed me the pictures they took. I was amazed how little things had changed in 20 years. I shared with Brandi how the house is set into a hill so that the upper level of the house opens up to the backyard onto a patio with a sliding door. You can walk right onto the roof in the back of the house. My friends and I used to lay on the roof and look at stars. My old house sits on a hill so you can look down and over the roofs of the other houses in the neighborhood. There were a lot of great memories in that old house. My friends and I threw a big party at the house when we graduated high school.

Brandi visited the streets of the town I lived in. She attended a local festival and got to see fireworks on the banks of a river. She rode a metro rail into Washington D.C. and visited landmarks and museums.

Brandi at the Nation's Capitol

It was a dream of Brandi's to visit the Smithsonian. Brandi wants to go to college to major in Anthropology at Indiana State University. She is especially interested in African Art.

African Art on the National Mal

Brandi has such a passion to learn and understand cultures and traditions. I am so happy for her that she had the opportunity to visit some great places that are rich in those things.

I am also happy to have been able to share key points in my past with Brandi and help her connect to her own roots. Finding out where you've been and where you want to go is important to be able to select the path you want to take to reach your destination!

It's all part of growing up.

Union Station, Metro Rail

Metro Rail

Union Station, Metro Rail

Am I Naughty for Nautical?

2011-04-25T02:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, I guess by now you may have learned that I am a little obsessed with the sea. I have always been drawn to all things coastal. I don't know what it is about the sea that reaches to me and calls to me. I don't like being in the sand, I burn easily from the sun exposure, and I'm scared of jelly fish but I just love the sea! So, rather than string you along with subtle hints here and there, I am going to use this post to just lay it all out on the table. Here are the 5 areas that prove I am Naughty for Nautical:

1. Coastal Living Subscription: I don't have a lot of money to waste on frivolous things, but I discovered "Coastal Living" magazine about 8 years ago and have been an annual subscriber ever since! The first year was a little expensive. I got the subscription for about $40. Every year since, the magazine tries to keep me subscribed so they send amazing discounts. I've learned that if I wait until their third or fourth notice of cancellation, I get the most amazing deals. So, I usually get the subscription renewed now for about $9.50 per year. I love the magazine. I've kept every issue and take one with me when I know I need reading material for an appointment or something. I love being able to peer into the homes of folks that have been blessed with seaside properties and the finances for hiring interior decorators. I love the Internet links the magazine provides for seaside shops and artisans that offer nautical gifts and decor through ordering online. Marc's telescope (seen on the blog) was a gift that I had engraved for him after finding the brass company that makes them through the magazine. Coastal Living magazine is colorful with large photographs of seaside excursions. I dream of being in the places I read about. I imagine myself strolling along boardwalks, enjoying lobster bakes with my friends on the beach, cuddling in my wool turtleneck sweater by the fireplace as waves crash outside my door, surfing on the big waves and standing in the cool shade of a palm tree somewhere.

2. Reggae and Island Inspired Music: I am a little picky with the music I listen to. I enjoy a lot of Gospel, Jazz, Blues and R&B but there's something about Reggae/Island music that calls my soul. My family is not into it so I don't really play it much when everyone is home. When I am by myself, I enjoy tuning into my favorite radio station that streams Reggae music online and turn up the volume. My first experience with Reggae was when I heard it on an old episode of "The Cosby Show" back in the 1980's. On the show, Denise was dating a guy that was into Reggae and they featured a little of it: Click Here to see the clip. I remember asking my dad what that was and he explained Reggae style music to me. I think I was in my early teens. I've always enjoyed Island inspired music and some of my favorite sounds come from Erykah Badu (listen to "Bag Lady") and Sade (listen to "Lovers Rock"). My recent discovery is Bob Marley's son, Ky-Mani Marley. He has some good music and my favorite is called "Hustler" (don't ask me what the lyrics are...I don't know and I don't care). You can listen to it here : Click Here I think part of my love for Reggae is the steady rhythm and the cool island accent. It is very soothing (Lincoln calls it "Chill"). I start nodding my head and hate it when its over. I enjoy the sounds of steel drums, vibraphone, deep base and the various shakers/percussion instruments that keep the beats alive. I have always had a celebrity crush on Matthew McConaughey and recently learned he launched his own record label called "J.K. Livin" (means "Just Keep Living") and is a big supporter of new artists with Island sounds/Reggae styles. He helped launch the career of new artist, Mishka. You can find Matthew's website here: Click Here Mishka put out an amazing song called "Coastline Journey" that was featured in McConaughey's movie "Surfer Dude" (yes, I watched that film). I fell in love with the song. It was my theme song for making my vacation plans to Indian Pass, Florida in 2009. It's really worth listening to: Click Here

3. Surfing Movies/Videos: I am a sucker for a good surfer movie with a lot of great surfer shots! As mentioned, I saw "Surfer Dude" and can't imagine anything sweeter than McConaughey and surfing! I am admitting that on my TV-DVR, I have recorded the movie "Blue Crush" and have seen it at least five times already. I love the water scenes and how the surfers get into the wave (the tube) and are just surrounded by a tunnel of water. I love watching them drag their hand across the smooth wave and ride it out. It's just an amazing scene to me. I've seen the classic surfing movie "Endless Summer (I and II)" and can't wait for the films to come on T.V. again so I can record it. Until then, I have YouTube! When my family vacationed in Pensacola, FL in 2010, we visited a surf shop to find some paddles for our kayaks. The surf shop was owned by a surfing icon named "Yancy Spencer III" and he had the sign of the Christian fish on his shop window. We quickly learned his shop was an outreach to the area youth for Christ! Unfortunately, Yancy passed away earlier this year and many grieved his passing by paddling their surfboards out into the sea in remembrance. Yancy was heartbroken when the oil spill of 2010 hit the shores of Pensacola. Everyone was out cleaning up the beaches. I've kept in touch with the surf activities of Yancy's shop (Innerlight Surf) online with the surf videos they air monthly...amazing shots! I heard Carrie Underwood is starring in a new surf movie called Soul Surfer that I hope to see that as well.

4. Vacations Centered Around the Beach: Marc gets so frustrated with me because he wants to plan vacations that are "landmark" related and I want to just go somewhere where we can "chill on the beach"! For the past two years, we had the money to go away and I planned our trips on the Gulf in Florida. I spent months planning the perfect getaways for our family. I think I enjoyed the planning more than the actual vacation! :) I am not physically fit for tackling ocean waves but bought my kids inflatable kayaks to lure them onto the water. They enjoyed battling the waves but not as much as I'd hoped! We rented wave runners for them last year and that seemed more their style. Both kids admitted to me that vacations in Florida are fun but just not their ideal vacation experiences. I think it has to do with Marc's wheelchair and inability to really get on the beach and in the water easily. In a perfect world, that's where you'd find me having the time of my life! Since I lost my job and finances are tighter, we couldn't plan a big vacation this year. I hope we can make it up to the Great Lakes at least so I can hear the surf splash on the shore. A day trip would be fun (up to St. Joseph, MI) but I'd love to afford a few days in Mackinaw City, MI and catch a ferry boat over to Mackinac Island. I've been a big fan of Carley Simon for years and years and heard she gives a lot of concerts up in the Martha Vineyard area near Cape Cod. I'd love to take a trip up there someday and catch her in concert. I used to listen to Martha Vineyard radio online every day at work. It's a great station with folk artists and new musicians featured daily. Check it out: Click Here

Here are a few of my favorite vacation pictures from Florida!

Marc at Indian Pass, FL 2009

Brandi with Grandma Sherman in Apalachicola, FL 2009

Grandpa Sherman having Apalachicola Oysters 2009

Adirondack Chairs at Rental House 2009

Brandi and Lincoln in our Rental House 2009

St. Joseph Bay at Port St. Joe, FL 2009

Cape San Blas, FL 2009

Beach Cart at Indian Pass, FL 2009

Lincoln on the Kayak in Indian Pass, FL 2009

St. George Island, FL

"Good Eats!" Bay City, FL 2009


Grandparents with Brandi and Lincoln 2009

Beach grass by our rental in Pensacola, FL 2010

My kites off the deck. Pensacola, FL 2010

Brandi, Lincoln with nephew Camden pointing 2010

Niece Braelyn Cooper at Pensacola, FL 2010

Brandi in Pensacola, FL 2010

My brother Dave at our Beach House 2010

Brandi under the beach house 2010

Loving the beach (me) 2010

Lincoln "chillin" at the beach house. Pensacola, FL 2010

5. House Decor: Our house is a small ranch style home. The outside of our home is gray brick and siding. Our trim used to be painted burgundy but when we repainted, I had it done in a coastal blue color. Marc bought me a lighthouse to sit on our front porch and I tried to plant sea grass in our yard but it did not like our weather in Central Indiana. We've collected sand from all the beaches we've visited and I keep them in various glass bottles I've found in craft stores. I enjoy displaying my sand and shells around the house. Our bedroom is completely coastal. Our walls have wallpaper that has tiny blue flowers so we had gray cedar wood that is distressed attached as beadboard wainscoting for a coastal cottage feel. My bedspread is a blue patchwork quilt. The curtains are made of white linen with horizontal blue stripes. I love opening the window on a breezy day and watch the wind blow through the linen curtains. Our walls are decorated with an original oil painting of "The Old Man of the Sea" and other coastal inspired pictures. I redid our bathroom by painting it a tan color called "Sand" and hanging a lighthouse border around the ceiling area. I hung a canvas sail inspired shower curtain that has large grommets and decorated the wall with sailor themed objects. We have a porcelain collection of light houses on the shelves and beach inspired bath hooks and soap dispensers. Some of it may be a little kitsch but we enjoy the humor of it all. It feels nice to us.

I am sure I can find other areas in my life that mimic my love for nautical things. For instance, I enjoy lobster, shrimp and fish and pretend I'm on the coast when we dine out at "Joe's Crab Shack". I am a dreamer through and through. I have invented my own gumbo and am famous for my lightly battered fried fish in olive oil! Yum!! I once owned some indoor plants that were very tall palm plants; they didn't enjoy the lack of humidity in our region so they didn't do well. If I could afford it, I'd have a huge salt water aquarium and fill it with puffer fish, starfish and a small octopus. I've seen "The Little Mermaid" and "Finding Nemo" several times and count them as my some of my favorite Disney films. When my friends post pictures online of their vacations, I gravitate towards the ones that include the beach, ocean, cruise lines and boating. So, what do you think? Am I naughty for nautical? Well, if I am than I need to redeem myself by sharing some scriptures that talk about the Ocean: Click Here

Amos 9:6 Who builds his upper chambers in the heavens and founds his vault upon the earth; who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out upon the surface of the earth, the Lord is his name.

Easter Memories

2011-04-18T02:05:00.004-04:00

My kids may be too old to really celebrate the Easter bunny leaving treasures on the dining room table on Easter morning but my family will never stop celebrating the gift of the Cross on this special day of remembrance.

We've had some great Easter memories over the years. I wonder if you could leave me a comment with your favorite memory? I think my kids would say the most memorable Easter moment was when we took our Spring Break vacation up in St. Joseph, Michigan in 2006. The kids didn't know where we were going and we surprised them with a hotel suite that overlooked one of the Great Lakes! We didn't plan for the frigid temperatures up North but we had some neat things planned to make our stay fun. We knew the kids were starting to outgrow the traditional Easter basket moments so we found a chocolate company in St. Joseph that made their own special solid chocolate bunnies at Easter. When we drove up to the "Chocolate Cafe" the kids were excited. Before we went in we told them our plans were to let them pick out their favorite Easter bunny for Easter. So, that's what we did! Of course, back in the hotel room, our kids ate their bunnies...the whole thing!

Here are some pictures from Spring Break 2006

Lincoln and Brandi - Spring Break 2006

Over the years, we've had our little family traditions regarding our Christian Faith. One of my favorite traditions started after we visited a big church that had a "Living Jerusalem" set up for visitors to experience the sites and smells of Bible times during the Easter season. Our family walked around and visited the various booths. Every booth was set up like street vendors from Bible times. There were volunteers dressed up like Bible characters and doing trades and crafts that were consistent with Bible times. There were amazing foods being cooked, perfumes being mixed and a small petting zoo area with animals from that region of the world. One booth had basket weavers who were wetting special reeds for bending and shaping into round baskets. My kids stood at the booth for a while and watched the craftsmen and women. Before we left, a woman approached the kids and gave them a cross made of reeds that were braided together. We kept that cross and placed it with our Christmas decorations. We decided to hang the cross on the tree every year as a reminder of God's purpose for sending His son. I can't think of Easter without thinking of Christmas and vice-versa. When I think about Easter, I can't help but think of God's Fatherly love (see John 3:16).

I am pretty hard on myself as a mother and hope I've done a good enough job sharing God's Word with my kids who are nearing their young adult years. I hope they grasp the fullness of God's gift to mankind. I pray that they can experience a working relationship with a loving Savior. That's the real Easter treasure I hope they discover.

A few years ago, I wrote a song called "Mighty Man" about the Passion of Christ from the perspective of one of the women (Mary Magdalene) who helped care for Christ's body after His death on the cross.

Many women were there, watching from a distance.
They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs.
Matthew 27:55 (click Part 1 and Part 2 to read the whole Easter story)

Mary obviously learned of Christ's sentencing, beatings and appointed time to carry the cross. In my song, she is inquiring about the growing crowds and excitement (picking up the fever). It is almost unbelievable to her that it is happening. As the event begins to unfold, she joins with the other women and observes an incredible display of human strength and will as Christ endures the Cross. At that moment, she realizes Christ is a man who is doing a mighty thing! The conclusion comes when she is convinced of Christ's ministry after she experiences the empty tomb and the angel standing guard. She is resigned to the fact that He was a "Mighty Man" sent from Heaven to do the divine works of His Father God. Her experience is so intense that she can hardly bare it all.

To hear the song "Mighty Man", click HERE and then use your back button to return to this blog.

For 2011, my family is making a new start with a search for a new church home. In the past few years, we were involved with a metro church in our area. The church offered some great classes and activities for our kids but we never really connected in any of the small group settings they offered. The church went through some changes and got a new Pastor and a new vision. The congregation changed a lot during those days. Marc and I were so busy with work that we didn't have much time to visit the church during the week. Our weekends were mostly spent with relatives after church and then my mom got sick in 2008.

In 2008, I scaled back everything in my life when my mother decided to try to fight her cancer. I reduced my hours at work and determined myself to be available for her at her beckoning call. Mom was living at home and I was the closest relative. Marc and I agreed that my ministry (for that season) was for my mother. My Sundays were mostly spent with her when she was home-bound. We brought her to our house for supper or took supper to her. My kids watched movies with her or played cards with her. In April 2010, I lost my job when I was downsized. In June 2010, mom's fight with cancer ended. When mom went to her final rest, I found myself unsure of what to do with myself. My main ministry was over and my job was gone.

I've been focusing on finding work for the past year. It is now my anniversary of my job loss. I've been fortunate to draw on unemployment but not working has been a lifestyle change. I've enjoyed reconnecting with my children and learning more about the things they've been going through since their grandmother got sick. We've had to get some counseling and have some long talks to smooth out our issues. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. I am thankful for skilled professionals who care about helping people work through tough times.

I haven't been focusing much on what I'd like to do with my ministry. I've been content to just minister to the needs of my family as they also minister to my needs. This season of grief has been fluid (not rigid). We've just allowed ourselves to feel, to miss, to remember and to learn to move on.

When the followers of Christ experienced his death and burial, they rejoiced in his resurrection. He appeared to them before He ascended into Heaven and said,

...go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20

So, let's all get a move on!

It took my breath away!

2011-04-14T01:11:00.005-04:00

A friend posted on her status on facebook today "breathe in, breathe out" and made me think about the song I wrote called "Breathe" back in 2007. You can hear the song by clicking on this link: Hear Breathe Now!

The Concert Poster for 2007

My song "Breathe" was chosen to be the title song for a compilation CD put out by singer/songwriters in my area (Central Indiana) in 2007. The studio owner that was helping to host the event had done some recordings of my songs for a demo I was working on. He really liked "Breathe" and thought it would fit well in the competition (songwriter's invitational) and asked me if he could submit it to the judges. I agreed and the song was chosen for the album. I performed the song at an event and was voted for 4th place in the competition based on feedback from the crowd. It is the only song I have a fully produced demo of. The rest of my songs online are just work tapes I have recorded from home. The lyrics are very personal and special to me and I'd like to share the stories behind the verses.

Verse 1: The first verse is about a situation that happened with my second child's birth (1995).

I never had the chance to do something big

Sometimes my world can feel so small

But when the doctor placed my child in my arms

I was holding the life of God.

And it took my, took my breath away...

Brandi at 9 months old 1996

When Brandi was born, I had labored for 12 hours and ended up having a second c-section delivery (we were going for a VBAC). I had general anesthesia for the surgery and was out for the whole thing. Afterwards, I was in the recovery room and the nurses were getting worried. I was having trouble waking up. They brought my family in to wake me up but I wouldn't wake up out of the anesthesia. My ex-husband was in the room (we were married at the time) and told the nurse to bring the baby in and put her in my arms. He said that once I felt my baby, I would wake up. The nurses asked the pediatrician but the baby was recovering from the c-section operation delivery and did not want to remove her from the ICU. Finally, they brought the baby to me in desperate attempts to wake me up. When they placed Brandi in my arms, I woke up instantly! It took my breath away.

Verse 2: The second verse is about me and my literal fear of heights (1978).

Maybe you can tell me how it feels to look out over

I’ve always been afraid of heights

But if you call me to stand on a mountain

I will climb, Lord I will climb

And You take my, take my breath away...


The Cooper Family 1978 (me in vest)

When I was a little girl, around the age of 7, my family was stationed at Beale Air Force Base in California. My dad had recently given his heart to the Lord and was becoming more of a dedicated Christian. It was the 1970's and the charismatic renewal was popular on the West Coast. My dad joined with other men in the service to host a Bible Study series at each others homes. We'd sing from my parent's "Maranatha" songbooks and then study the Bible.

Through our fellowship with other "spirit-filled" Christians, my father learned of a retreat for Christians called "Springs of Living Waters" and it was located in Chico, California at Richardson Springs. I was young and my parents took us there for a vacation/getaway. My father became close to the family that ran the retreat because their last names were also "Cooper". We stayed in touch with Cecil Cooper and his family for many, many years. Cecil Cooper was a gentle soul.

The retreat still exists and is now part of a YWAM (Youth With a Mission) retreat group. Click on the link to read the history of the Springs retreat. It is very interesting and about the native tribes that lived there before the settlers.

Springs of Living Waters - Chico, CA

During our visit to the canyon retreat in 1978, there were classes to attend in the afternoons and kid's activities. My sister Cindy and I enjoyed the rustic elevator with 1920's style door and bell in the remodeled hotel. Everything seemed bright and clean there. There were pathways to walk that followed a meandering stream from the natural springs in the area. Huge trees shaded the paths and flowers were planted everywhere. I'll never forget the large rock formation that sat at the peak of a hill nearby. Our host said that it was an old Indian fortress and if we climbed up to it we'd see etchings in the rocks! So, my family hiked up the hill covered with tall grasses that danced in unison to the warm wind. Once we reached the top of the hill, the rock formation towered over us. We climbed along a gravel path and it was very narrow and I was afraid I was going to slip to my death. There was a large oval shape cut out by wind erosion. When we reached the oval area, our guide told us we could see a surprise on the next hill if we looked through the hole. I was too scared to climb up to catch the view. One-by-one my brothers and sisters climbed up to look. I was taunted by the "oohs" and "aahs" coming from them. I finally faced my fears and my daddy helped me get up on the rocks and look through the hole. It was such a reward to see 3 large crosses standing on the next hill overlooking the valley. I thought about the things I learned about Jesus and his death on the cross. I felt close to Him in that moment. It took my breath away.

Verse 3: The last verse was written because I was trying to write about the final stage of life when we grow older and know our last days are approaching. I put the title "Springs of Living Waters" in this verse as a memory of literally hiking at that retreat but also to mirror the words of the scriptures from the Bible about the subject of receiving the Spirit of God in your life as Living Water (see John 7:37b-39a) and about Heaven being free from tears when the lamb of God leads His people to the "Springs of Living Waters" which is another name for the Lord (see Revelations 7:17 & Jeremiah 17:13).

When I look at my hands and I see the signs of aging

And when my friends are far from me

May I discover Springs of Living Waters

And will You sing me peacefully to sleep

And You take my, take my breath away

Mom as "Tea Lady" at Brandi's birthday

A year later, when my mom found out she had cancer (Spring of 2008) and that her illness was terminal, this song was suddenly very fitting for her situation. I thought about its application but did not remind her of the song. I sort of held it in as a secret way for me to deal with the inevitable. A few months after she was diagnosed, mom was visiting my brother in Southern Indiana and discovered a blood clot in her leg. She was immediately hospitalized and her leg became very swollen. There was a possibility of the blood clot breaking free and going to her heart or head. We really thought we might lose her and it was the first of many scares we had with mom's fight with cancer. While visiting her at the hospital, mom wanted to get out of her room. My friend and I put mom in a wheelchair and took her down to the activities room. When I wheeled mom into the room, she noticed the piano in the corner and asked me if I'd sing for her. I was a little shy to belt out my voice in a hospital but I was able to sing and dedicated "Breathe" to her that day. While I was playing the song, I turned to see my mom sitting with the sun streaming right down on her face as it filtered through a small window. She sat there weeping and smiling. I knew she had accepted her illness and was resigned to be with the Lord whenever it was her time to go. She left this life on June 2, 2010. It took my breath away!

This song is very special to me. I've always been impressed with how God chose to bring us into existence in this world. The scriptures say that when God formed man (Adam) out of the dust of the ground, the first thing he did was breathe life into man and man became a living being! (see Genesis 2:7) God's breath is powerful, life giving and desirable! So, my friend, feel free to "breathe in and breathe out."

Mom loved Spring!

2011-04-08T02:36:00.003-04:00

My garden from the Spring of 2006 or 2007

I lost my mother last Summer to Stage IV Bone Cancer: As the weather changes and we enter into a new season without my mother, I find that it brings out a new measure of grief for me. I am going outdoors more as the warmth moves in and the cold moves out. My trees and bushes are sprouting little buds. Soon, we'll have leaves and flowers.

Mom loved Spring: She couldn't wait for my blooms every year. I have purple bearded iris and a pink weigela shrub in my garden. Mom was often more excited than I was about the blooms in my yard.

I found myself longing to call her this morning to tell her about the pansies I saw at the store yesterday. I am thinking of planting them in my big pot in the front yard. Somehow, not being able to call her put a damper on my news. So much of what I did around the yard was to please my mama.

Brandi drew this image of my mother.

I've been thinking about mom a lot lately. It all started with a big bag of birdseed I saw at the discount store last weekend. Mom had several bird feeders on shepherd hooks around her yard and we put them out her window when she was placed in the nursing home. It was my family's responsibility to keep the feeders filled with seed. It was so cute when we'd come to the nursing home to fill the feeders, we usually just came up to the feeders first before visiting mom. She'd be watching TV and not paying attention to what was out the window. I'd press my face to the glass and knock softly. When she'd put her attention on me, she'd smile so sweetly and wave so tenderly. Sometimes I'd call her on the cell phone while I was standing there and watch her fumble around to pick up her telephone. She'd say, "hello, where are you?" and I'd say, "Mama, I'm looking at you from the window!" She'd get a little confused and I'd have to tell her, "Mama, look out your window!" When she'd look, she'd say, "Oh Carey, what ARE you doing?" I'd get a good giggle out of her.

When mom passed away, I put all her bird feeders in the yard outside my kitchen window. Over the Winter, I let the feeders stay bare. When I saw the seed the other day, I loaded it in my cart and decided it was time to fill the feeders up to honor the memory of my mother.

Mom bringing tacos to the patio.

Tacos & El Fresco Dining: Thinking of mom caused me to start looking through old photos. I found some from a few years ago. It was the month of June and mom had moved into a little trailer home she had purchased on her own. It was a proud moment for mom and she wanted to show us her new home!

As always, mom was making something to feed us and tacos were on the menu. Mom had made tacos a staple in our house growing up. The day was beautiful and we ate outdoors on her little patio because Marc's wheelchair didn't have access into her home. She was so proud to share her home with us. I took a bunch of photos of inside mom's new house to show Marc (since he couldn't get inside.) We drank coke (her favorite) and just sat and laughed about silly things the kids had experienced at school that week.

Gardens of Green: Mom showed us her little garden areas and the planters she had filled with various flowers. The kids went around and helped her pull some weeds that day. Her patio needed a fresh coat of paint and some TLC was needed around the property but mom was content with her "secret garden" and enjoyed the "lived in" look of things.

Mom and Marc with Lincoln in the Shed

Mom had some nasty poison ivy growing in her yard and hadn't explained to the kids how to avoid touching it. Lincoln was such a helper and pulled a lot of the ivy out of her garden by hand. He didn't wash his hands and had an itch somewhere (as boys often do.) Needless to say, he ended up with a horrible poison ivy rash all over his unmentionables that year!

Nanny, Nanny: Brandi was always looking for excuses to visit her nanny's house. She had called her grandmother "nanny" since she had learned to talk because mom was my babysitter when I went back to college (I paid her of course.) Mom developed a special bond with Brandi and understood her little quirks. ,

Brandi has always had some social anxieties (as most artists do) and was shy in public. Her nanny knew how to bring her out of her shell and interact with others. I guess my mother related a lot to Brandi. They had their special movies and snacks they enjoyed.

Losing mom was more than just losing a maternal figure; I lost a lot more than that. My mother had become my friend. She was interested in my work days. She was interested in my family. She offered advice and listened to my complaints. Mom helped me learn to relate better to my kids.

Brandi, mom and Lincoln

Without my mom, I've had to fly blind at times and I miss her input on child rearing. She'd often say, "now, I'm not saying I was perfect but..." and give me a golden nugget of mothering wisdom.

Oh, how I miss her!

Jean A. Williams-Cooper

January 1, 1945-June 2, 2010

A Song, A Story and a Spiritual Dream - Good Grief!

2011-04-04T03:06:00.002-04:00

If I were writing a book, tonight would be one of those nights where I get a lot accomplished because I am heavy with thoughts today.

I posted the song "I Will Not Be Broken" by Bonnie Raitt on my Facebook page tonight. This song made me imagine my 65 year old mom preaching these lyrics to the devil (who brings death in the body) when she was bedridden between 2009-2010. She knew she'd never get out of that bed until she was walking with Jesus (who brings life in the Spirit). She knew death was inevitable but refused to sell her soul in the process. She kept her heart, soul and spirit committed to Christ! When she died, it was just a matter of letting go of this life and pressing forward in the next. The lyrics read:

That was then this is now
Found my way back here somehow
Knew you'd have to let me go
Told you once I told you so

Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can't hold what's within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I'm not going
I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be...

Someone other than who I am
I will fight to make my stand
Cause what is livin' if I can't live free
What is freedom if I can't be me

I won't let you near it
I will let my spirit fly
Fly
High
Oh take me down

My mom spent over 30 years with my father and was divorced from him in the early 2000's. It broke her heart; coping with the divorce of my loving parents was an experience that broke my heart too.

Mom had to become a fighter and learn to live on her own. She had to get a job and find a new place to live after they sold their home. She struggled with anxiety and depression and it was nearly impossible for her to take any steps forward, but she did!

My mother adjusted to moving from her large home in the woods to a small apartment in the city. She moved to be near me. Out of all the 6 kids she bore and raised, she chose to be near me so I knew I had to be available to her. She had helped me care for my kids when I went through a divorce in 1996. She was especially needed by my infant daughter. My kids grew especially close to my mother and called her their "nanny".

I was devastated when we found out she had Stage IV Bone Cancer in 2008. I was sitting at work when I got the call from my brother. He had the results from her bone biopsy. The diagnosis (BONE CANCER) was alarming but the prognosis (TERMINAL) was like the pull of gravity. It gripped me and I almost fell to my knees in the hallway of my office building. I grabbed my things and headed for the elevator. I telephoned my boss on my cell phone in the front lobby and broke out in tears. I had to sit in the parking lot for quite a while just to process the news and stop the sobbing. I needed to call my mom and didn't know what I'd say to her.

Mom was ready to die but she wanted God's will and His timing only! She'd say, "There's not an expiration date stamped on the bottom of my foot!" Despite the prognosis, mom tried fighting the cancer in hopes that God would take it from her in a miraculous way. She allowed people to reach out to her and pray over her. She stood on scriptures and believed in full healing in her body. She gave God room to do anything He wanted in her life. She worked on changing bad habits, bad thought patterns and sought out doctors that were willing to help her fight her cancer. She had peace.

Spring 2008 Mom fought the bone cancer with aggressive radiation treatments and chemotherapy. She learned that nothing had changed and the cancer tumors were spreading to many areas of her body. She lived at home for almost a year by herself. Arrangements were made for nursing at one point. We built a ramp and she walked with a walker on wheels. When she could not longer leave her recliner to go to bed at night, we moved her out of her house.

Spring 2009 Mom was moved to a nursing home that focused on physical therapy. She was bedridden at that point but we hoped the therapy would make her feel better and give her some daily goals to strive for. Even if it was just touching her knees, she needed some purpose! She started developing urinary infections and general health was declining at that point.

Summer 2009 Mom was moved to a nursing home and placed in hospice care. She slipped in and out of awareness and battled many infections. The family was called to say goodbye on several occassions.

Summer 2010 Mom passed away on June 2nd

Mom continued to fight though she was seemingly pushed to the limit of human suffering (bone cancer is a tough one). Mom didn't deserve her suffering but was a TRUE example of having a fighting spirit and refused to be broken! She NEVER lost her faith in God. She even passed away while my sister sang "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" from a hymn book. We knew her steps beyond this life were steps with Christ in the next life!

When she finally surrendered to her final rest, it was clear the time had come. Everyone had said their goodbyes, she was ready and her spirit flew (as Bonnie Raitt sang)!

I am just now beginning to accept her passing and I thank God for the incredible dream he gave me the other night.

My Spiritual Dream:

I was with my daughter, my mother and my best gal pal. We were taking a road trip in my car to the mountains. The dream was very detailed and I remember my mother in the back seat complaining and being critical about the scenery on our road trip. From the front seat, my friend and I rolled our eyes at each other and smiled because it was just like mom to be critical of something. Even though mom was critical, she kept thanking us for taking her on the road trip. She was also excited about our destination! My daughter loved having her beloved grandmother share the back seat of the car with her on the long road trip.

We finally reached the mountains and the sun was getting ready to go down. As we left our car to look over the ridge at the rolling hills around us, we realized we had to cross over a small mound to see the view. From our vantage point, we could see nothing but trees. We all climbed up the mound and stood by a railing at the top. We looked out over at the lush mountain view and were unable to speak because the beauty took our breath away. Mom said, "let's go!" and we went to our car and pulled a picnic basket, a blanket, binoculars and mom's cane out of the trunk.

Before we could gather everything up in our arms, mom had taken off down a path on her own. She was like a child on the loose! She was so excited and ready to explore. We noticed a large white building at the top of another mound nearby and knew it was the ranger station (though, in my dream, the ranger station was referred to as the "Keeper's House" and the ranger was the "Keeper of the Hills").

We all stood looking at the Keeper's House and wondering if we should go there first for directions and a map. I realized the sun was setting quickly and needed to find my mother. We all found the path mom had taken (a narrow dirt path flanked by lush carpets of grass) that wound up and through the hills. We knew mom had gone that direction and there was not another route she could have taken. I was very nervous and scared that we had lost her but my friend and daughter assured me she was just up ahead.

We walked briskly and called her name out. I yelled, "mom, mom...where are you?" and every now and then, I'd hear her call from a great distance, "I'm here, don't worry!" and I'd feel at peace. Then, I'd catch glimpses of her making her way on the path on a nearby hill. She'd pause sometimes and look through her binoculars at birds and butterflies in the valley below. The colors in the dream were amazing! She seemed so excited with the area and I didn't want to alarm her but it was getting darker and the path was more narrow as she pressed on. I thought we should all pull back and wait for more light the next day. Just then, mom disappeared from our site and from our voices. She didn't return our calls and didn't seem in view at all. I suddenly knew she was gone from us. I was heartbroken.

We all headed back quickly to the starting point. As we got near the Keeper's House, a person in a white ranger suit ran down the hill to greet us. The person was not male or female to us but we knew he/she was in charge! They seemed masculine in strength but feminine in speech. There was an amazing kindness from the person and a feeling of compassion and empathy. The person reached out to me and handed me a map. They opened the map for me and showed me the path we were on. The path was marked in red and was long and narrow. It had an "x" for the starting point but no ending point. It just seemed to fade off the page all together.

I started getting upset and shared how we lost track of my mother. I was scared she'd be lost in the dark and slip over the edge of the path and fall off the mountain. The person assured me my mother was given a flashlight before going on the path. I asked how she got the flashlight and the person said they gave it to her when she started her journey. They had given her a map too. They told her to go forward and not look back. So, that's what my mother did. She was pressing onward, upward and forward.

I wanted to get some flashlights from the person so we could go fetch my mother. The person told me he/she was the "Keeper of the Hills" and that everything that happened was planned from the start. The Keeper told me that mom's path never ended but that she was just gone from our view.

The Keeper explained that mom had reached a point where the current light of this world could no longer guide her on the path. The light of this world was too dim for her to see everything on the path going forward. It was explained to me that mom was still on the right path but she was in a new light that was brilliant and would never fade. Mom was walking in a new light that was revealing to her all the incredible things that had been created in the valleys and in the skies. She was seeing new colors, understanding new perspectives, finding new truths. What mom had known before was just a partial revelation of all that she was seeing on the other side.

Instantly, I knew she was at in a good place, she was experiencing perfect peace and that my fears were silly. I also realized my longing for her was selfish and unproductive. I knew that I needed to be happy for her and let her go so I could imagine her pressing forward on the path on the other side. The End

My dream really helped me understand my mother's death and let her go. I feel I've reached a new place in my grief. I'm now experiencing GOOD GRIEF!

Origami Cranes for 2 Little Boys

2011-04-03T23:26:00.006-04:00

Lincoln had a jazz concert at Butler University today and we were so proud of his hard work, talent and amazing solo improvisation that we decided to treat the family and eat out for lunch. We picked a Chinese dive near Indianapolis (ran by a Japanese family). My kids and I walked up to the door and waited for Marc to close up the van. While we stood on the sidewalk, 2 little Japanese boys opened the heavy glass door and braced their legs against the pavement to keep it open.

The winds were strong today and tried to push against the door but the little boys were steadfast and won the battle. If we had helped them keep the door open, I figured it would have injured their pride. So, we smiled and nodded as we watched the boys work as a team. Once the boys had the door secure, they sweetly invited us to stop standing on the sidewalk and said, "You can come in, come in to eat!" We smiled and nodded and once Marc joined our group, we went in. The boys were wide-eyed with wonder as they watched Marc drive his power wheelchair into the tiny restaurant.

Marc and I approached the counter to order food and our kids went to select a table in the empty establishment. When I turned around, they had selected a table next to where the boys had a toy box and craft table against the wall. Not wanting to crowd their space, we moved to the other side of the tiny room. The little boys had already pulled out a chair for Marc to sit at the table. When we moved, they quickly ran over to our new table and moved a chair for us. I never heard their mother give them orders. It was like second nature for them to be gracious hosts to their patrons. After we thanked the boys, they went to their table and sat quietly coloring. Watching the boys made me reminisce a little and I thought about the Japanese friend I had when I was in the 4th-5th grade.

My father was an Air Force Recruiter when I was growing up. He was stationed at Lackland AFB (San Antonio, TX) when I was in grade school. We only lived there for about 2 years but I made friends with another Air Force child (yes, I was a Military Brat). I can't remember her name, but she taught me how to make Origami birds (cranes) on recess. It took several days of lessons for me to figure it out but I learned the craft and have never forgotten the complicated folding pattern.

As we sat and waited for our "Chinese-Americanized Japanese" food to be prepared in the woks, I watched the boys sitting at their table. They were ripping paper out of a notebook and folding them into airplanes. Lincoln giggled as they tried to fly their planes in their corner of the room. I wondered what it must be like to play in a restaurant all afternoon. I wondered if patrons ever interacted with the children. I was so impressed with the little guys; they had such good manners and helpful hands! I thought about the colorful paper menus on the counter top and got an idea! I asked the boys if they knew origami. They shook their heads "no" and I asked them if they wanted me to make them some birds out of paper. They nodded "yes" and I told them to bring me 2 paper menus. They seemed excited and spoke Japanese to their mother and then brought me some menus to fold.

The boys stood silently as I reduced the rectangle paper into a perfect square by folding a triangle pattern and then ripping the excess paper off the edge. I continued and they loved watching me do the folds of paper. The younger of the boys quickly corrected me when I didn't get the paper exactly lined up on the edges. I was so tickled by his mathematical mind. The older boy (who was only 6 years old) told his younger brother, "It's okay, it's okay...this is hard work!" I agreed and told them I'd work harder to make it straight and perfect.

I remembered reading an article like the one written in the Wall Street Journal recently about the differences between Asian child rearing and Western thinking. The article suggested that Asian mothers often teach their small children that mistakes are due to clumsy behavior and can not be rewarded. Some strict mothers actually punish their children for accidents, mistakes and clumsy behavior. It conditions the children to be more precise, exacting and careful with their thoughts, movements and behaviors. I realized my clumsy paper folding was offending the smaller child and it made me try harder to be more precise. The result was a bird that looked clean and neat. Usually, my folded cranes look lopsided.

During the folding session, I asked the boys to remember the steps and watch carefully. The craft requires several folding steps and I was sure it'd throw them off! When I started the second bird, the older boy actually guided me on the folds. He had learned them and was helping me do it. I was so impressed! His tiny fingers traced the folded paper and he said we made a good fold. He told me the diamond shape I was creating was called a rhombus. I couldn't believe the tiny child knew that word! I had even forgotten what that shape was called.

The boys took their cranes when our food was ready at the counter. They helped my kids bring our food to the table. While eating our lunch, my kids and Marc made fun of the way I talked. They said that I spoke choppy English to the boys and sounded like I had a silly Japanese accent. I giggled and felt honored because my mother used to do the very same thing! I think I picked it up from her.

Mom (right) with 2 Asian friends 1960's

While in the military, my mother made friends with a lot of foreign speaking ladies. Many of the young military men married Asian women and brought them back to the states to live on base with them. My famous egg roll recipe (to be posted later) was from a Vietnamese woman mother befriended. My brothers and sisters would often poke fun of my mom for her silly accent when talking to her friends. Dad was more authentic because he actually spoke fluently in Vietnamese from his service in Nam in the early 70's.

My mother lost a 3 year battle with cancer last summer and went to Jesus. I've been grieving for quite a while and missing her terribly. The little dive we were eating at was near her old house and I remember her suggesting we eat there once. We had never been there before and sitting there made me think of her. From the table where we ate, I could see the grocery store where I used to pick up her pharmaceutical products while she was having chemotherapy treatments. She was taking heavy pain medicines for her bone cancer and I'd have to show I.D. to pick them up for her. She'd send me running to the grocery for banana popsicles and chicken salad with crackers. There were only a few foods she could stomach while on chemotherapy. One of the foods she enjoyed was a dish of fried Chinese dumplings. She ate a lot of those while in the nursing home towards the end of her battle with cancer but I picked them up from a Chinese eatery closer to home.

Our recent family tragedy was just a part of the great progression of life as we know it! The people of Japan have recently lost many lives (mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc.) in a different kind of tragedy and I wondered if the family running the eatery had lost family members in the recent tsunami flooding. Watching the little boys interact with their mother in Japanese, I thought about the video I just made to honor their great island heritage after the devastating Earthquake and Tsunami of 2011. You can view that video by clicking here: "Beautiful Japan"

Brandi painted this in 2007, Age 12

My family finished our meal and the Japanese hosts waved goodbye as we walked out. The mother yelled to me over her hot wok, "Thank you, thank you...come again please!" I noticed the older boy had created legs and feet for his paper crane and was attaching it to the key chain he wore around his neck. He showed me how it could fly as we waved goodbye!

Oh, the power of Origami.

Covered Bridge Surprise & a Lemon of a Lake

2011-04-02T22:20:00.001-04:00

I was hoping today would bring us some sunshine. This whole week was overcast for the most part and very cold. I wanted the last day of our kid's spring break to be eventful. We've been tackling laundry all week, running errands and making appointments and plans for Lincoln's upcoming graduation and college life!

I woke up early this morning with the morning nurse helping Marc get his routine done. The morning nurse today was a little silly and giggled a lot. I couldn't sleep in with her in the room so I asked her to open the blinds and window to let some morning light and fresh air fill the room. I sat up in bed and realized the sun was out and the temperature was pretty reasonable for April in Central Indiana (55 degrees).

Jumping out of bed, I headed out to the computer and started looking at parks around our area that wouldn't exceed an hours worth of driving (gas prices are just too high right now). I was looking south hoping that the temps would be a little warmer the more south we drove. I focused on the Bloomington, IN area because it is a college town and very eclectic. My kids are so artsy that I knew they'd like to be near some creative spirits! Maybe we'd find a live band somewhere or stumble upon a roadside art exhibit; that was wishful thinking for early April. Looking at the map, I realized Lake Monroe was probably going to be crowded with a nice day like today and people trying to escape the long Winter we just left behind.

I zoomed in on a smaller lake in the area...Lake Lemon. Lake Lemon was built in 1953 as a reservoir for the city's drinking water needs. It has an average depth of 9.5 feet and has become a popular spot for boating and fishing. It is nestled in the hills of South Central Indiana. Google Earth land map made it appear pretty attractive so I investigated further. I found a little public park called "Riddle Point" on the map and decided it would be the ideal place for us to have a picnic today.

I sent Marc out to buy some picnic foods and got the kids up and ready for our adventure. They are much older now and we haven't done little road trips since they were a lot younger. I wasn't sure how they'd respond with their worlds tied up in today's technology and social networking. I knew a trip into the hills would render their cell phones useless. Do you believe I subconsciously planned it that way? I was pleasantly surprised when they both seemed eager to go on a picnic as a family.

Most our recent adventures have been well planned like our big trips down to Florida with a lot of preparation and cash on hand. Since I was downsized from my job last April, we've had to scale back this year...way back! I joked that we'd have a "Spring Broke" instead of a "Spring Break" this year. We used our cash on hand to fix up some things around the house that were in need of repair.

The kids were hungry when we finally got on the road. The anticipation for our surprise destination was probably not as attractive as the fact that it wasn't too far from home since both kids were ready to break into the picnic bag as soon as we pulled out of the driveway. Geesh, teenagers! Marc punched in the address to the Lake Lemon Marina on the GPS unit and off we went! The winding roads off the main highway were familiar since we've had many small adventures in the Bloomington area in years past. The kids like the winding hills and changes in elevations. We live in an area that is pretty flat and ideal for corn crops. Marc's driving skills with hand controls are like second nature to him now and I wasn't nervous (at first) about his ability to stay on the roads as they got more and more narrow.

At one point, we left the main roads and traversed down a road that the GPS had to reroute. Marc realized he had missed his turn and thought he'd just follow the rerouted path. So, we pressed forward down a rural road into the Bean Blossom area. I started feeling a little anxiety with our low riding mini van weighted down with special equipment for Marc's ramp access. Every little pothole made me grab the dash and wince a little. I was just sure Marc's hand would slip off the driving wheel or brake lever. If that happens, we crash! I asked Marc to slow down a bit and he said I was a bit chicken. I told him he had some special man-balls to keep going forward (pardon my language but I was nervous). Marc said he thought the road would eventually reconnect with the highway he was supposed to be on. The road started winding more fiercely and a small, narrow covered bridge was up ahead. I saw a sedan pulled off the road with a family taking photos of the bridge. I wondered if our van should go over the bridge because it seemed to be the original woodwork, steep ramp onto the bridge and one lane going over it (with specific boards for each wheel of the vehicle). Yeah, I was getting VERY anxious.

Before I could tell Marc to pull over, he gave the van some gas and went up over the bridge. Of course, the van didn't like the steep incline and cried out a little on the underside (scrape, clang and rattle). Before I could ask Marc to slow down, we were over the little bridge and he halted to a stop on the other side. Immediately, our road had changed from semi-paved to gravel. The gravel road was abruptly interrupted by a very steep incline upwards into the woods. Marc knew better than to try the hill so he just stopped. I pried my hands off the dash and rolled my window down a little for some air and looked out my window. I had to blink because my contacts were a little blurry from the change of light (sunny on the one side of the bridge and dark and wooded on the other side). When my eyes readjusted, there were two men standing behind the trunk of their car staring at us with bewilderment. I am sure they just wondered why we stopped but I imagined they wondered how our low-riding van made it over the bridge! Marc was trying to figure out if he wanted to try the hill, attempt turning around in a very small area or just reverse back over the bridge. One of the men approached my window and asked, "Do ya'll want us to take a photo of you in front of the bridge?" I politely declined. I mumbled something about the roads getting too narrow and the guy walked away. Marc laughed at me and said, "They thought we were just some silly city folks." Having grown up in a rural area of Arkansas, I thought that was ironic. I did have my John Lennon sunglasses on though and maybe I looked metro-anal-retentive?

Marc carefully pulled up and back and turned and reversed and eventually positioned the van to go back over the bridge. I just held my breath and listened while the van cried out a second time (rattle, clang and scrape). The family on the sunny-side of the bridge just looked at us with rubber necks and open mouths. I can only imagine their thoughts about the ordeal. Marc drove forward with his usual confidence and relentless spirit.

We made it back to the main roads and hopped onto the highway that took us deeper into the hills towards Lake Lemon. The further we went, the hungrier the kids were and they weren't shy to let us know. I told them we were just minutes from the picnic spot when the narrow roads and dense treeline gave way to a narrow land bridge that separated two bodies of water. On the right was an open lake that was enjoying the windy day. I put the window down and listened to the water slap up against the land bridge. Small waves and crests reminded me of approaching our Florida destination in 2009 at Indian Pass, Florida. I tried to imagine the salt in the air and was happy to see little white birds dipping and diving in the air currents. The kids love the water too and were quickly hushed by the open scene before us. The sun peeked through the billowy white clouds and produced interesting shadows that danced across the surface of the water. Marc drove slowly over the long land bridge so I could drink in the moment. He knows me well.

Once across the land bridge, the scene quickly changed. Since the lake was built in the 1950's, I was sure the houses along the shoreline were also built that long ago. Many are now run down and uncared for. A few have tried to rebuild but it was obvious the latest economic challenges have changed their plans. Some half-built houses sat with rotting wood attached and plastic sheeting blowing in the wind. Pieces of the sheeting and insulation had broken off some of the homes and were scattered around in the trees. Abandoned cars haunted me on the sides of the road leading to the public park. I thought, this Lake Lemon is sort of a lemon of a lake! It appeared as if some flooding had cause additional damage in some of the low lying areas and recent ice storms had downed a lot of tree limbs in people's yards. I felt bad for bringing my family for a visit so early in the season. The people in the area obviously need a few more months to fix up their yards and homes before tourist season. I couldn't help but think about how I feel when people visit my home unexpected. I had a moment like that earlier in the week when piles of laundry decorated my living room floor as a I tackled the beast. A health aide stopped by to do some work for Marc and I forgot she was coming. I was so embarrassed of my mess. I tried to apologize and explain but she completely understood.

The kids were oblivious to the trashed yards of the lakeside homes and noticed a large train bridge over the edge of the lake. I remembered seeing the bridge on the website and told the kids that it was a historical landmark and something to revere! Both kids love history and nostalgia and were very impressed with the view.

Eventually, we found the little public park and set up our chairs on the side of a hill overlooking the lake. We arrived the same time that a bus arrived with college students from the local university to do their women's rowing practices for the start of the season. I wondered how that bus made it down those roads and over the land bridge. The row team carried their long boat down to the water dock and rowed across the lake and out of site. We enjoyed our short visit at the park and the kids had to cuddle under a heavy blanket as the winds whipped up a little more and cloud coverage hid the sun.

We left the lake and drove around to the other side to check out the marina. I was disappointed the marina was private and we couldn't sit and watch boats coming and going.

On the way home, the clouds opened back up and the warm sun felt good through the windshield of the van. We promised the kids some ice cream and took them for a gourmet treat at the local Cold Stone Creamery.

I asked the kids if it was a good day and both were impressed, happy and fulfilled by the day's adventures. It was a good trip and a nice surprise for a "Spring Broke" trip.

-Carey Germana

Big Girl Doodles

2011-04-01T02:33:00.000-04:00

Brandi has a fascination with anthropology and (at 15) is looking into future colleges that offer degrees in that field of study (no pun intended). Through her never ending fascination with all things foreign, Brandi stumbled on some information about the pygmies of Africa. As an artist, she had to capture her thoughts by drawing what she was studying. I call it "Big Girl Doodling" and the image posted is one of her latest doodles. Her use of color and shading is fantastic and gives her animations a hint of realism. I had to post this image because she displayed this group of people with cheerful dispositions. It made me connect with the people in this drawing and feels neighborly to me. I have always taught the kids to celebrate ethic differences and embrace the cultures of others. It makes me proud to see my daughter so open to learn about people of other heritages.

Nice job Brandi!

Fantasy Art

2010-06-26T01:22:00.003-04:00

Brandi has been working on a lot of fantasy art drawings and paintings lately. I really enjoyed the cheerfulness of this piece she is holding.

New Puppy!

2009-10-21T00:14:00.002-04:00

I don't know what we were thinking but we added a new little member to our family. We now have 3 dogs. My husband named him Boss Nas (from StarWars) and he is a designer breed. Designer breed is a mixed breed from 2 full-bred dogs. He is English Bulldog and Beagle mixed. Oh, he is just a little darling.

Coming Up Green!

2009-04-22T15:51:00.003-04:00

Well folks, it is that time of year when we have to hire some group of techs to come out and treat our lawn. What is the obsession with green? I guess green is a beautiful color and often represents the newness of things. Perhaps that is why people say that if someone is new to something, they are "green". Last night, my daughter showed me her latest watercolor. It is a joy to see her work because she is private about it. I was amazed that my 13 year old painted such a happy painting full of the color green; I had to feature it today!

Sleep is a Gift from God!

2009-04-19T22:31:00.007-04:00

I met an old sleeping dog on my recent visit to Apalachicola, Florida. He was laying at the entrance of a gallery in the shopping district of town. His master is an accomplished photojournalist that found his home in the area after taking photos for a feature story in the New York Times.

I slipped passed the yellow dog and into the gallery. I listened to some old jazz standards while viewing the sepia toned prints on display.

I stood gazing at the photograph pictured in this blog. A quiet man was sitting on a chair by the door and got up to explain how he captured this image. It is called "Coming Home" and was taken by Richard Bickel. Mr. Bickel knows how to capture candid images and frame them naturally with items found in the original setting. I was so touched that I bought the print and framed it to hang in my house. It is quiet and peaceful and makes me think of resting after a hard day of work! I also bought Mr. Bickel's most recent book and he signed it for me.

You can visit his photography by visiting the following link: CLICK HERE!

My trip to Florida was designed to allow my family an opportunity to enjoy some much needed rest and relaxation. We rented a comfortable beach house on a quiet strip of sand. We had a lot of rainy, misty days that invited us to lounge around and enjoy the warmth of our family. Out of the 8 days we were in Florida, it rained 5 days. It was a double pleasure to hear the angry surf crashing against the coast after a midnight storm along with the rain water beading off the roof and onto the balcony near our room. The morning surf brought us several bags full of seashells and interesting shapes of driftwood.

I don't really like to read much. I am more "right brained" and rather view pretty pictures or listen to music and books on CD (which is a godsend.) When I do read, I digest what the author is saying. A recent passage suggested that in order to be at our best, we must get plenty of rest daily! The author explained that sleep was God's gift to man and that we should accept it as such. He reminded us of the scripture in Genesis where God caused man to go into a deep sleep in order to create the woman he brought forth from his rib!

I pride myself at being very efficient with things in my life; sleep has always seemed to be a waste of time to me. Could that be the reason why I titled my blog "Where DOGS Sleep" instead of "Where PEOPLE Sleep"? As an artist, it is so easy to get caught up in writing music, painting pictures and being ultra creative to the point that sleep takes the back burner. Heck, it's almost 12am right now and I have to get up at 5:45am. However, I think God is whispering in my heart that I need to fully embrace sleep as His precious gift to me.

Is lack of sleep the reason behind the angst of some artists' works? I tend to write a lot of blues tunes during the latter times of the day. My husband calls me a "night owl" and yet we both get up at the same time daily. The difference is that he wakes up smiling and chipper! I wake up dragging my feet and begging for caffeine! A good, hot shower often jolts me for a few hours. If I miss that shower, I never seem to wake up until after 5pm. Most days, I don't even want to have conversation with people until after 9am.

To make this gift of sleep a reality for me, I am considering wrapping a box with beautiful paper and bows and placing a tag on it that reads "To Carey: Enjoy Your Sleep. Love, Jesus" and placing the box on my nightstand. It'd be a great reminder every time I slip into the comfort of my feather down blanket that my sleep is a gift from God. If I can view sleep as something more than killing time during the night hours, I may actually start getting more of it. The results of a good nights sleep are beneficial to our health in many ways. The highly respected Mayo Clinic has some great tips on sleep by clicking on the following link: CLICK HERE!

[yawn]

Well, good night!

2008-12-28T19:07:00.002-05:00

"Geisha" by Brandi Germana (copr. 2008)

[click on the image to link to Brandi's online gallery]

The Sea

2008-12-27T19:39:00.002-05:00

Poem by: Carey Germana (copr. 2008)

She calls to men
a sirens song
with fragrant, lovers breath
and rocks her body
gently
laying bare
her swollen crests

Her garment is
a canvassed sail
caught in the throes of wind
Her hair is tossed
by lovers hands
with waves
and waves
of passion

Whoa to men
who dare to tame
her violent moods
with charm
her size and girth
are loves demise
she smothers in her arms

Beneath her lies
a secret world
of depth and beauty
still
to sink into her eyes
is to behold
a breathless thrill

Untold pleasures
dreams fulfilled
drip from her salty tongue
wealth and treasure
promised to those
who share her bed in the sun

Temper calm
she lures them in
as weak men do submit
She will expose
their wanderlust
then rage a lovers fit

They follow
to her chamber deep
she casts an evil spell
as lovers sleep
the darkness creeps
and death becomes
her swell.